Saturday, November 23, 2013

Udit's revenge

There are numerous stories of Udit (my son) being crazy about cricket. I thought I will share this one.

One day, in July 2010, there was a report in the newspaper about Dhoni's wedding. When he read that, he started crying. Now, I could understand a 20-year old girl crying on this news, but a 6 year old boy. He was inconsolable. When he finally could speak, it turned out that he was really upset that he had not been invited for the wedding.

I tried to reason. MSD does not know you and you don't know him. Why should you expect a wedding invitation. "I know him. You ask me anything about him," pat came the reply. And with that, he rattled out all kinds of details about Dhoni, not just how many runs he had scored in a career, pretty detailed information about various innings. I knew he had started surfing the website, but how could he navigate a site in English to collect all this information without knowing much English, remains a mystery to me.

I continued my reasoning. "OK. You know him. But he surely does not know you." "Well, I am his biggest fan, and if he does not know me, that is his problem, not mine. He had to find out who is his biggest fan, and invite him to the wedding." And with this, even more statistics and information about MSD.

But the parents have a repertoire of tricks to deal with kids. If reasoning does not work, then let us try to convince him of the futility of it all. "We can't go back in time. Whatever has happened has happened. Crying will not help." That seemed to have a small impact. The decibel value of crying reduced. And then he stopped crying completely, but announced that he will take his revenge.

What could a 6-year old possibly do as a revenge against the mightiest of the Indian cricketers. "He would seek God's intervention in his revenge strategy," he said. The kid must have been really hurt by Dhoni not inviting him. Here was a kid who wouldn't go anywhere close to the small temple at home. Even on Diwali, when we do this little ceremony of worshipping Goddess Laxmi, it is extremely difficult to make him sit for just a few minutes. And the same chap will seek divine intervention in his revenge against the captain of Indian cricket team.

"I will pray to God that Dhoni should have a son." I did not want to tell him that India is a country where "May you be the mother of hundred sons" is a common blessing, and nobody will really think that this prayer is being carried out as part of a revenge strategy. But why would he consider such a prayer. For a moment, I felt that may be this is that rare instance of self realization that he is a naughty child, certainly more destructive than his older sister. May be he has realized how much trouble he gives to his parents, and perhaps is wishing that Dhoni's kid gives him as much trouble, if not more. But the explanation wasn't entirely satisfactory.

"I want Dhoni's son to be a good cricketer and become a part of Indian cricket team." This was getting too much. The revenge strategy was in complete shambles. Oh my God! Is this same Udit who as a 6 year old could prepare a credible business plan for starting a school, and who could beat people in chess twice his age. What happened to his logic and reasoning and planning. (By the way, I too can beat people in chess twice my age. I only find it difficult to beat people half or one fourth my age.) And then it dawned upon me that perhaps he wants his son to be so famous that people won't remember Dhoni Sr. But still it wasn't a convincing revenge.

And then he explained the last part of the strategy. "I will, of course, be the captain of Indian cricket team, when Dhoni Jr. joins the team. Around that time, I will get married. I will invite the whole team for my wedding, and a few senior cricketers too. But I will not call Dhoni Sr. or Dhoni Jr. to my wedding. Think how bad they will feel when everyone else will be invited and they will not be, and then MSD will realize how bad I am feeling today."

1 comment:

  1. hahaha.. Sir this is indeed a serious revenge strategy. may be you should warn Dhoni.